So, it's been a while since I've actually "written" anything on this little corner of the internet (the blogger editor is so different! no spellcheck wtf? you're inforit!) but I have been buzzed into a meme simply by leaving a comment on another blog. Normally, I would blow this off (you'll see why later) but I've decided to tackle this one here today because that other blog happened to be Sarah's from Naked Cupcakes and she's kind of a new friend to me and I don't want to piss her off respect her so much as a blogger because she's smart! and funny! and pretty! If you haven't seen her video for the Out of Tune Idol Contest you simply must click here!** And, well she scares me a little bit she's just a genius, pure and simple.
Hahaha! xoxo Sarah! *blows kisses* *glances nervously over shoulder to make sure she's gone*
Hahaha! xoxo Sarah! *blows kisses* *glances nervously over shoulder to make sure she's gone*
Sarah would like me to list six things that I master at? That I'm a master of? At which I master? Of which I master? (This is why I usually spare you the actual writing of words here!)
I am a master
...of wasting time on the internet. From Blogger to Twitter to Stumble to eBay to Craigslist to Petfinder to Facebook to watching-grass-grow to Flickr...the list just goes on and on...I never have time to watch Divorce Court or especially the Beverly Hillbillies anymore in my free time..stupid internet! Stop being so fun!
...of procrastinating. My car's check engine and low tire pressure lights have been on for two months now. I'll happily motor my way to the mall or the grocery store or the liquor store bank and I'll glance down and think, yep, they're still on... and then I'll think to myself "self" we'll just do that later and continue to yell the words to Buh Buh Buh Benny and the Jets sssssssss.
...of grocery shopping like my parents left my teenage self with food money and went on vacation. I'm an adult...my cart should NOT be filled with Pop Tarts, Chili Cheese Fritos and mini bagel dogs but alas. Sometimes, I'm actually embarrassed in front of the cashier and the people behind me in line and I strategically place all the fruits and veggies and meats at the end of the conveyor belt...the old top of mind awareness trick!
Oooh look at how healthy she is with her carrots and stuff!Oooh! Meat!! She cooks! Sooooo healthy!
...of making my dog pee upon eye contact. I can't even look the little guy when I walk into a room he happens to be in or it's belly up and old faithful time. It's not funny. He pees on anyone who gives him attention he's not finicky, an equal opportunity pee'er if you will. But for some reason, all I have to do is turn my head in his general direction and it's off to see the whizzard! I have to be in the room with him for at least five full minutes before I can pet the dude. Submissive much?
...of being weary/lazy about going out in the beginning of the night and then always being the last to leave. Oh I'll hem and haw for a while and finally I'll concede and next thing I know it's 2:00 a.m., I'm wearing the bottom part of a donkey suit and I'm complacently sitting outside 7/11 eating a turkey sandwich (I don't do burritos).
...I know that's only five things I master at (or whatever) but I have to pee and I'm really lazy (see above) so I'm gonna have to end it here b/c I just can't hold it anymore and....oh shit...ok. well, thanks alot Sarah! I guess I'll be able to finish now but I'm also going to have to get a new couch Overstock.com! Six months from now! Soooooo....
...Super Mario Bros. NES. Word.
**No sheep were sodomized during the filming of this video that I'm aware of
